Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The one thing I thought I had......

The one thing that I thought I had, and would always have to the end, was that I was the guy who could take it. I could deal with it, whatever it was. I could do the job and do it well. If I didn't have the love of others, well, at least I had their respect. I was the competent guy.


No more. The powers that be, who fired me from this job, are falling all over themselves to tell me  how competent and valuable I am, how skilled I am. Cold comfort and empty words right now.


So what's left? I don't know. I honestly don't know.

5 comments:

Rusty Truck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Russ Manley said...

That really sucks, man. A big big hurt, I know. Ugh.

Institutions, of whatever variety, are quite often unmindful of and ungrateful for good service, even after many years. I don't know any comforting words to tell you - but do try to get away for a while, have a change of scene is the best suggestion I can make.

I do know what its like to feel all your best efforts are totally unappreciated at work. HUGS to you my friend.

Sebastian said...

Dear Russ, thanks for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them. In a few days or a week, I'll give more details. I blame myself, for I did not know the negative impact that my forceful personality was having. But I also blame the powers that be, who did nothing to draw my shortcomings to my attention. I have run into a buzz saw by saying more or less publicly that the average government employee has a more highly developed sense of ethics in many areas than the average friar or priest. But more on this at some other point, wehnt the dust has settled a bit and I am freer to talk.

Russ Manley said...

Okay hang in there bud and lets hope something postive comes out of all this.

FDeF said...

I can relate somewhat after having been let go from a job that I gave my all to for many years. I obsessed about what transpired for many months ... such events have powerful repercussions and the scary thing is that there are no "do over's". You can only go forward. I don't pray much anymore, but I feel for you. Take care of yourself.